Lately I often felt lonely, the loneliness of longing for someone, the person who I can love and she love me, someone who will wait for me to go home/visit her, someone who I expect to see..
Wah ga terasa dah brapa lama aku menunda2 tulisan ini ya? Starting from Dec 2006 and now already Jan 2007. Boleh dibilang aku jarang untuk memikirkan atau tepatnya meluangkan waktu untuk merasakan dan belajar menyelami perasaanku, mungkin karena deep down inside I know when I usually let myself to go that way I'll end up crying,this loneliness seems like a lifetime problem to me...
Ironicly I often said to HW, loneliness is in your heart, its not about where you are, even if you in a crowded place you can feel lonely. Ha3x sekarang baru aku sadar bahwa kata2 itu mencerminkan banget apa yang aku rasain sendiri.
Well its new year now, not a good time to talk about loneliness, but let it me reminder for myself untuk meluangkan waktu memikirnya lagi, like once I discuss with my uncle, its probably related with my age yg dah mestinya get married gitu, he said I need a companian, well thats another subject I'll about it later.
Wednesday, December 13, 2006
Loneliness
REALITY
Today I began to understand more about REALITY, after watching David Deangelo's video, one of the guru on dating world, he basically teach things related to dating, how to hook up with women, but its all started from ourself, like how do I percieve things, how do I feel during certain situation, how would I react etc. One of the thing he teach is REALITY, it is how we think & feel about something, and how I'm allow it to influence myself. Today I really experience it, at 8 o'clok in the morning while me and my untie make a fruit juice, she piss me off because I felt her bossing me around and she complaining that she felt nervous when I start juicing the fruit before she finished piling all the fruit. Well hello its still 8 in the morning and I just woke up, and its so annoying that I couldn't hold myself, I started firing her and said "stop ordering me around ... just stop talking ... oh gosh its still early in the morning can we have at least a quite moment in the morning?" Then she got upset and said, "well I can't speak tenderly, this is the way I'm .. " and thats the end of conversation. So I kind of make a mental note of her bad habit which often happen like almost everyday that is ordering people around, go do this, do that, he even do that to my sick uncle which is very patient man but sometimes also got in his nerve by her he3x.
Then its 2 O'clock now, my uncle once again got his fever, felt cold, I covered him with blanket and everything, like always she got nervous when seen things like this, and as her reaction of her nerveousness she went to the kitchen and cook herself instan noodle, she still remembered offering me do you want some, and I hesitate for a while than I node my head, she went to the kitchen again start boiling water and everything. After got busy taking care my uncle for about an hour than I realize and ask her hey where is the instant noodle? and she start to chuckle and said I finish them all ha3x I just look at her and laugh too, we both have a good laugh, and I made a mental note well actually she can be cute sometimes, guess I don't hate her anymore.
You see as I was saying at 8 O'clock my reality is she is an annoying person than within the same day at 14.00 I think she's a cute old lady, there is a shift in my reality. The 8 o'clock reality not relavent anymore. So what is like and what is hate anyway? When people do bad thing to me I'll feel uncomfortable and I start to dislike them, if people doing things that make me glad, I'll like them, its that simple.
So what I learn today, is REALITY IS ONLY TEMPORARY AND CAN BE MANAGE, and I should hold my tounge to stop saying things that I don't want to say when I'm not piss off, count 1,2,3 exhale and become more patient he3x
Monday, December 4, 2006
Love No. 1
| Your Love Number is 1 |
 You tend to be a stubborn lover, holding your ground in every argument You take your time falling in love. You aren't the type to lose perspective. You are loyal (to a fault), and you require the same loyalty in your sweetheart. At your best, you are a wise and inspiring partner - who sticks around. |
Sunday, December 3, 2006
My Love Style
| Your Love Style is Agape |
 Unsurprisingly, your love style is the most rare. You are willing to sacrfice your world for your sweetie. Except it doesn't really feel like sacrifice to you. For you, nothing feels better than giving to the one you love. |
Saturday, December 2, 2006
Aura
| Your Aura is Green |
 You're very driven, competitive, and even a bit jealous. However, you seek out balance in your life - and you usually achieve it! The purpose of your life: inspiring others to be better Famous greens include: Tony Robbins, Donald Trump, Martha Stewart Careers for you to try: Guru, CEO, Talk Show Host |
Celtic God
| You Are A Chestnut Tree |
 You are a born diplomat with a well developed sense of justice. And even though you're impressive and intimidating, you're also fun to be around. You can be irritated easily, and you sometimes act superior. Nevertheless, you are sensitive of others feelings and very loyal. Sometimes you feel misunderstood and are fiercely close to those who know you best. |
Personality Type
| You Are An ISTP |
The Mechanic You are calm and collected, even in the most difficult of situations. A person of action and self-direction, you love being independent. To outsiders you are impulsive, surprising, and unpredictable. You are good at understanding how all things work, except for people. You would make an excellent pilot, forensic pathologist, or athlete. |
Extra Baggage
| You Are A Sometimes Ex |
 You're sometimes an ex, and sometimes you two are back together And while your ex may seem like old news right now... You've got to wonder why you keep getting sucked back in |
Me Dr. Phil or Big Liar ?
| Your EQ is 153 |
 50 or less: Thanks for answering honestly. Now get yourself a shrink, quick! 51-70: When it comes to understanding human emotions, you'd have better luck understanding Chinese. 71-90: You've got more emotional intelligence than the average frat boy. Barely. 91-110: You're average. It's easy to predict how you'll react to things. But anyone could have guessed that. 111-130: You usually have it going on emotionally, but roadblocks tend to land you on your butt. 131-150: You are remarkable when it comes to relating with others. Only the biggest losers get under your skin. 150+: Two possibilities - you've either out "Dr. Phil-ed" Dr. Phil... or you're a dirty liar. |
Honesty II
| You Are 44% Brutally Honest |
 Honesty is important to you, but generally, you try not to be brutal about it. You'll sugar coat the truth when you need to... and tell a white lie when necessary. |
Mood
| You Are 28% Bipolar |
 Overall, you're a pretty stable person. You may be a bit moody, but nothing out of what's normal. As long as your emotions aren't severe, you're totally in control! |
Taurus Virgoist
| Your Rising Sign is Virgo |
 Well put-together and elegant, you sometimes seem standoffish. And truth be told, sometimes you do feel superior to those around you. A bit shy and introverted, you tend to stay quiet - even if you're feeling social. At parties, you can seem like you're very serious while you're having fun. You clever and ingenious, with an alert and active mind. Good at facts and figures, you excel at logical and mathematical tasks. |
Honesty
| You Are Somewhat Honest |
 You do tend to tell the truth a lot But you also stretch the truth on occasion You figure a little lie isn't a big deal As long as it doesn't hurt anyone too much! |
Emotionally Mature
| You Are 60% Left Brained, 40% Right Brained |
 The left side of your brain controls verbal ability, attention to detail, and reasoning. Left brained people are good at communication and persuading others. If you're left brained, you are likely good at math and logic. Your left brain prefers dogs, reading, and quiet. The right side of your brain is all about creativity and flexibility. Daring and intuitive, right brained people see the world in their unique way. If you're right brained, you likely have a talent for creative writing and art. Your right brain prefers day dreaming, philosophy, and sports. |
Left Brain Right Brain
| You Are 60% Left Brained, 40% Right Brained |
The left side of your brain controls verbal ability, attention to detail, and reasoning. Left brained people are good at communication and persuading others. If you're left brained, you are likely good at math and logic. Your left brain prefers dogs, reading, and quiet. The right side of your brain is all about creativity and flexibility. Daring and intuitive, right brained people see the world in their unique way. If you're right brained, you likely have a talent for creative writing and art. Your right brain prefers day dreaming, philosophy, and sports. |
Left Brain Right Brain
| You Are 60% Left Brained, 40% Right Brained |
The left side of your brain controls verbal ability, attention to detail, and reasoning. Left brained people are good at communication and persuading others. If you're left brained, you are likely good at math and logic. Your left brain prefers dogs, reading, and quiet. The right side of your brain is all about creativity and flexibility. Daring and intuitive, right brained people see the world in their unique way. If you're right brained, you likely have a talent for creative writing and art. Your right brain prefers day dreaming, philosophy, and sports. |
Not That Pure
| You Are 44% Pure |
 You're usually the typical girl or guy next door... But you also have a secret naughty side! |
My Element
| You Are From Venus |
 You love all forms of beauty. You love dressing up and anything luxurious. A social butterfly, you're incredibly popular and a great host. You're known for your fairness and affection. And as a frind to all. Careful though! You're desire to please may make you too willing to conform. Be yourself. Focus on what matters to you. You'll be all the more popular for it. |
Man from Venus
| You Are From Venus |
You love all forms of beauty. You love dressing up and anything luxurious. A social butterfly, you're incredibly popular and a great host. You're known for your fairness and affection. And as a frind to all. Careful though! You're desire to please may make you too willing to conform. Be yourself. Focus on what matters to you. You'll be all the more popular for it. |
